How I ended up living in Mexico because my husband needed affordable long term care

Thursday, August 10, 2017

A Visit from Family

Everyone has to do this shot. It's tradition. And fun!

Robert's daughter, Dawn, and our granddaughter, Sarah, came to spend a week with us. Their visit was mainly to see their Dad/grandpa in his new situation and to meet his doctor, caregivers, nurses, physical therapist, and fellow residents. They spent part of every day at La Casa Nostra and got to spend special one on one (or would it be two on one) personal time with their Grandpa/Dad. They ate the main meal with him each day and met his co-residents. They grew fond of Tony, Robert's heart brother, as well as a couple other very sweet members of the La Casa Nostra family. They saw him at his almost worst and at his very best, and witnessed the team who care for him. I think the visit with Dr. Aldana, Robert's psychiatrist, was especially informative and comforting for Dawn and Sarah. He described very plainly what Lewy Body Dementia is, and his plan to help with some of the symptoms while acknowledging the disease is progressive and will continue to get worse. He stressed to them that this is not a psychological diagnosis, but a neurological one. 

Dawn and Sarah on their very first morning in Chapala, waiting for the cab to take us to La Casa Nostra. This is the gate that opens to the garden that leads to mi casa. 

At the suggestion of one of the nurses, Claudia, we took Robert out for lunch one day, along with Tony. Claudia's husband has a business taking people where they need to go and when necessary doing the heavy lifting. In this case, getting Robert in and out of the van, and in and out of his wheelchair, and lifting and stowing the wheelchair. Edwin did a caring and efficient job of getting us all to the restaurant and back again so we could have a sweet lunch out on the town. Edwin made it possible for us to take Robert out. 

I think this is an especially nice family photo of the three generations. Taken at the restaurant.


Robert with his heart brother, Tony, and with me.

One experience at the restaurant that was especially poignant to me was when Robert needed to go to the bathroom. Tony insisted on taking him. Those two old men had a mighty struggle in there, and it took some time, but it was a sweet and tender time between the two while they pulled and pushed and lifted and sweat. 

Around the edges of Dawn and Sarah's visits to their Dad/grandpa, we managed to do some shopping (they got some cute duds), eat out quite a lot (never had a bad meal), go to the spa for personal services, and swim. Remember things are especially inexpensive here for gringos. Clothes cost from $10 to $20 for a top or pair of pants. Dinners out are $7 or $8 including drinks and main course and dessert. You also can pay much less. And of course, much more. There is an area here that I call Little America. It is a food court with American food like Sub Sandwiches. There is a burger place there called Trips Burgers that make the best burger any of us had every had. Anywhere. Maybe it was Trip's secret sauce. Mostly we ate in local restaurants that are not American. We spent an afternoon in the pool at my friend Karin's house. And also spent an afternoon at the Balianario where there are many swimming pools and tubs of all sizes and the water is natural hot thermal water that comes out of the mountain. So, we were pretty much busy all the time. We walked a lot and took cabs when we needed to go somewhere that wasn't walking distance.


Sarah and Dawn are cooling off in the little pool at my house. Water can be so healing and soothing. 


 Dawn and Sarah in one of the magical thermal waters pool

All in all I believe Dawn and Sarah's visit was productive, informative, and sometimes emotional, and we squeezed some fun in around the edges. They know everything there is to know (I think) about their Dad/grandpas care here in Mexico. They aren't thrilled that he lives so far away, but I believe they feel good about where he is given the circumstances. I had also hoped they would get a feel for my life here as well. I believe they did. I guess it would be hard not to since they were more or less living my life right along with me while they were here. 

Another traditional photo. Robert's visitors gathered around his chair in the garden at La Casa Nostra. Maybe we should change it up one of these days and have him standing behind while someone else sits in the chair. Incidentally, Robert has had more visitors since we moved to Mexico (just three months today) than he had in two years of living at Regency on Whidbey Island. Guess we are doing something right. And there are many more to come, for which I am most grateful.