How I ended up living in Mexico because my husband needed affordable long term care

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Richer and Deeper



In my last post I talked about how surprised I have been regarding all of the people who have wanted to visit me here. And that has continued. All of my guests have enriched my life. Also they are generally also friends of Roberts and have enriched his life as well. At the bottom of this post I'll include photos of the loving folks who have visited. 

What I want to talk about today is another surprise in my life. Friends of friends have heard about my decision to bring Robert here for excellent care at a fraction of the cost in the U.S. I have received a number of emails, texts, and phone calls from people who want to talk to me about this option. At least 3 people have moved here and placed their loved ones because of their contact with me. It really makes me feel useful. It is especially gratifying that the usefulness comes from me just living my life, not from me trying to be helpful. I don't know why....but I really like that. 

About a month ago a friend of a friend called me from Alaska. Her husband not only has Alzheimers, but also has had a stroke, a heart attack, and a bad fall. She was desperate to know how to care for him. A week after we talked she arrived in Chapala and had a room at the QQ, the hotel in the garden where I live. Amanda first visited La Casa Nostra with me and spent a day there talking with Delia, the owner, and with residents and staff. She then arranged a tour of Assisted Living/Nursing Homes with Earl and John, the guys who led the seminar on Everything You Need to Know to Move to Mexico that I attended before moving here. From them I got the information and the courage to take the leap. After touring facilities for a day Amanda went back to La Casa Nostra and made the first steps toward moving her husband, Larry, there. 

After Amanda went back to Alaska we had several phone calls and conversations about how to do the immigration part. Two short weeks later she and Larry and their good friend Maggie arrived in Chapala. Larry moved into his room at La Casa Nostra and a very tired Amanda and Maggie moved into their lovely room at the QQ. That was just one week ago. As I watch them go through their transition to being here I am reminded of my first weeks here in Chapala. Robert had a very bumpy, confused, angry few weeks (maybe months) and I had nights of waking up and wondering what I had done. It has been just about 9 months since we moved here, and I feel very settled now and Robert is doing better too. Of course Larry and Robert are different people with different issues. Larry has some physical challenges that Robert does not have. Robert has issues Larry doesn't. They have met several times, and I see Robert feeling very genuine concern for Larry. I am glad to see him having concern for someone other than himself. Even though Larry is having a tough time it is clear he is a very sweet man. Robert can see that as well. He said "Larry has a very sweet face." Indeed he does. 




Robert and me, and Larry and Amanda during one of our first days together in the garden. 

Although I am sorry that Amanda and Larry have to have to deal with Alzheimers, I am glad to have a friend and neighbor to share rides and understandings with. It feels like I have known Amanda and Maggie forever. We make good neighbors. Of course Amanda can't live at the QQ forever, but for now I'm really glad to have her there. And Maggie will have to go back to her life soon. As I watch their friendship I am again reminded of how George and Kate came with me to help move Robert here and get him settled. There is nothing more valuable in life than family and dear friends. The support is beyond anything I can imagine. 


Terry and DeAnna....our kids born to other parents....they brought their tender love for both Robert and myself


Daughter in law Sheri and son Dan. They were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary and making sure Robert and I are okay. We had a ton of fun. 


Son Dave who added more support and more fun. 


Stepson Dean and his husband Paul. More love and support. 


Just a beautiful moment on the malecon in Chapala


Bill always a dear friend. Carla, who also has a husband with dementia. Amanda on her first visit. This is a mural in Ajijic.

John and Cheri, Joanne, and Kathleen have also been here to give support and have fun. I'm embarrassed to notice I have no photos of them. Sue and Suzie and Bill have been in and out of Las Mananitas, the house they bought on this property. Sometimes it feels like grand central station here. It is all so much fun to have family and friends coming and going. There is a true community feeling here. 




I painted this in the garden of the Lake Chapala Society in Ajijic.







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