How It Works

(more or less)

Ok. So we have the house and the residents. Now what? Some of how it works has just grown organically from living together. Of course we have to have ground rules and agreements to go by. One major thing we did was make it legal that the house can not be sold until the last one of us is ready to leave it. So we all have a home until we are gone or done. As people choose to leave or they die their share can be rented to agreed upon home sharers. Or a share can be sold for an uninflated price to an agreed upon person or purchased by one or more remaining residents. Proceeds go to the heirs of the departed. 

Financially we all agree to share the ongoing costs equally. We have hired a property manager who pays all of our bills, knows when taxes are due, sends people to fix things when they break. We each contribute an agreed upon amount every quarter for regular bills (gas, electricity, water, internet, phone, garbage), paying of helpers (maid, gardener, pool guy, repairs), and general management. This is one place where doing this in Mexico is much less expensive than up North. We more or less have assisted living in our own home for a very reasonable amount of money. None of us could afford these services up North. And, of course, splitting these costs 4 ways makes living here very inexpensive for us each. Also having these services eliminates most strife about who does what chores around here. Our house and gardens and pool are always sparkling clean and cared for. Our bills are always paid on time. Our repairs are always done in a timely manner. It is one of the great pleasures of my elder years. I pay for all of my share from my Social Security funds with some left over. 

Since everyone has their own space, it is expected that we keep all of our personal effects in our own rooms. We all have private bathrooms, bedrooms, desks, and sitting areas. Furthermore we all have access to communal spaces of kitchen, dining room, game table, solarium, pool, 2 terraces, interior courtyard, large laundry and storage area, and tv watching areas (there are 2 in case we don't want to watch the same thing.) There is plenty of space for private time as well as communal time. This seems to flow very comfortably and naturally. All furnishings of communal spaces and kitchen and plants etc were purchased together, so we all own everything except for what is in our private spaces. Again, because we are doing this in Mexico we can afford a large home to accommodate private and communal time for everyone. The cost of the house split 4 ways was very do-able. We are all of modest means. 

Here are a few photos of communal and private spaces:

So what the heck do we do anyway? Most of the nitty gritty is cared for. We shop, cook, and make decisions about home improvements and repairs. We have a separate kitty for improvements and purchases that we regularly contribute to. The apartment is sometimes rented to guests, and all proceeds from there go into that kitty. 

Because all of us have lived in Chapala off and on for the past 4 years we have had the opportunity to get to know some of the workers who have worked for us or our friends or neighbors. We were able to hire people we already know and trust and who we enjoy having around our home with us. Most days of the week someone is coming here to take care of something for us. I really enjoy these people and our home feels very alive to me. Along with all the other things they do for us they help us with our Spanish. 

Since all of us aren't always living here at the same time things, understandably, work differently depending upon who is here. Also the atmosphere of the household is different depending upon who is here, not only because of number of people, but also because of different energies we each have. Without exactly planning or expecting it Amanda and I have pretty much teamed up regarding when we are here and when we go North. For me its just so good to have a travel companion as well as a house mate. Both of us have roots in the PNW and both of us have desires to spend some summer months up there. Since both of us are now widowed we are free to do so. Besides sharing Casa Corazon we also share my condo in Langley. When just the two of us are at Casa Corazon we have evolved a rhythm for living. I must say that some of how this arrangement works is just plain lucky. Amanda and I seemed to easily flow into rhythms and routines that work well for both of us. For me it is really fun to have someone to do the regular errands of life with. We share costs of food and daily needs 50/50 and generally do so right on the spot. Our rhythm includes pickle ball for Amanda, sketching for me, daily pool time for each of us, errands, some card games, and needed alone time for napping, reading, emailing, phone calling etc. We do things with neighbors and friends. Not as much as before COVID, but some. Breakfasts and lunches are on our own while we nearly always enjoy dinner together whether in or out or take out or with friends. Amanda and I bought a car together and we share all costs that go along with that. Susan and Bill have a car of their own. 

When all four of us are here together the energy changes. Bill likes to play keyboards in the afternoons and fills the house with sound. He also loves to cook and likes to have that activity in the afternoon. He is a world traveler and learns about foods and cooking wherever he goes. He collects recipes and spices on his travels. So we never know what ethnic cuisine we'll be enjoying when he is cooking. We generally have our evening meals together. Susan always makes a salad. Since Bills meals are generally more complex than others the kitchen clean up is also more involved. Susan has an energy field all her own. She has lots of projects and planning going on all the time with computer and phone calls. 

Since the kitchen is a place we all use regularly it is the one place where different habits and practices can clash. Some like all surfaces clean and all dishes put away at all times while others are fine with leaving dishes til morning and putting them away when the rack is full. Some clean as they cook while others leave lots of dirty pots and pans. Some clean out the fridge regularly while others leave bits of mystery leftovers. At first there was a bit of a skirmish about those things but it seems to have evened out over time. Whoever does the dishes gets to do them their way. If something bothers someone enough they take care of it. 

I like it no matter what the configuration of residents is. I have lived here alone and in twos and threes and fours (and more if there are people in the casita). I prefer it when someone else is here, but alone is nice sometimes too. 

So what else is there? Money and decor and furnishings of the home. The easiest part is if it has to do with someone's private spaces. Once we had basic furnishings, beds, desks, etc (shared household expenses) the decoration of our own rooms is up to the individual. As is the cost. 

Somewhere along the line I wrote about living with people who do things differently from one another. Of course this is true. I have come to feel that shared living might be easier for older people than for younger ones. In most cases my identity is not in question regarding what color we paint a room, though I certainly have preferences. I've given this a lot of thought, and have come to see this arrangement as yet again another great learning (and growing) opportunity. All 3 of the women involved have been almost totally responsible for home decor choices in previous lives. Imagine that! I entered this living situation believing some of the gifts I had to bring was special talents for spacial arrangement and color choices. Me being an artist and all. I have been humbled. And that's quite ok. My ideas aren't always the best ones, or the ones that suit the collective the best. I've given great thought to my priorities, and have come to the conclusion that having things my way is not always my highest desire. After all, having 4 minds working on solutions and ideas is one of the perks of group living. Right? 

So far we make decisions by majority rules. I would like us to learn to decide by concensus. I'll give an example. There is an alcove on our main floor that I see as a perfect place for a daybed. I love daybeds and the notion that a person can read or take a nap in common spaces that are slightly out of the main living space delights me. And we have a house big enough to accommodate that. We bought a daybed and put it in that space. My 3 housemates decided, after all, that they don't like it.

They prefer a reading chair and lamp in that space. I don't like that idea. But how much does it impact my life? Not at all. Secretly, of course, I believe they will come to realize they wish there was a sweet little napping space there. In truth Bill has put his keyboards in that nook and has sort of claimed it as his mancave, so whatever makes it work best for him is what is what I support. And so there you see my process to date. I must admit I was a little bit pissy about it (not proud of that....but there you have it) but always knew I was outnumbered and we all live here. 

To be continued........